The first week was the hardest, just figuring out my new life and new routine, minute by minute. There were so many moments in the first several weeks that I cried from frustration and lack of knowledge, I lost my temper from lack of patience as a result of sleep deprivation, and I just felt defeated! Once I got passed the first week, even the second week, then I began to feel a little more confident and accepted the fact that I wasn't going to know how to handle two kids in every situation and I was just going to figure it out as I went...minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day...and that's what I have been doing. Even four months in now, I still have moments of tears, anger, and defeat, but I know that's the wild ride of motherhood.
If only I knew then what I know now...I would have ALWAYS chosen sleep over chores when Lyra slept because now with two kids, it's only once in a blue moon that both nap at the same time and I get even the smallest of cat nap myself. I'm certainly fortunate to be able to stay home with my girls and even be able to talk about having the possibility of a nap, but it's well deserved after all the hard work that goes into keeping two kids alive all day lol!
With all that said...of course there are also many rewards that come with having two kids. I have learned how much my heart can grow to love a second child...and to be able to love Elyse in a completely different way that I love Lyra. I think it seems more unfamiliar to me because I am an only child. With only four months in, there isn't a ton of interaction between Lyra and Elyse, but even the small things like Elyse recognizing Lyra, following her, and smiling at her melts my heart. The love that Lyra shows Elyse is the best and I hope it remains that way!
Now that I have two kids, I have no idea how parents will three or more kids do it and I have decided that I would not be able to handle a third kid myself. I only have two arms...if I could magically grow a third, maybe I would consider that option. lol. It's been a tough four months, well actually, 19 months since Lyra was born. Some days are great and some days are horrible, but I know it will get easier (and harder) along the way. There is not a day that goes by that I don't ask my mom, "how did you do this?"
No matter how hard my day might be...in the end, these two girls are my everything and I love them more than I can ever say!