*Sigh*....staying at home is really starting to get to me. I absolutely do not miss being at work, but staying at home is hard. Same stuff, different day. I get bored and restless at home, so occasionally I manage to get out of the house, but it's such a hassle and not the least bit enjoyable. I always feel like I'm racing the clock, rushing in and out of stores before Lyra starts to cry. She is one fussy girl. The only time she is happy is when she is sleeping or maybe a few other minutes throughout the day, but mostly she is fussy, which makes getting out of the house stressful. She usually sleeps in the car though, but as soon as the car shuts off, she pops those eyes open and it's only a matter of time before she starts crying to be fed, changed, or held, or all of the above. It's a lose lose situation. The other day, Lyra and I got out of the house and we made it through one store in a matter of 10 or 15 minutes, but in order for me to stay out and go into a second store, I spent about 30 minutes in the back seat feeding, changing, and rocking Lyra to sleep.
Being at home also means being alone. Too much alone time gives me too much time to think. I begin to stress and worry about too much. I really miss social interaction. The only person I really get to talk to is Lyra and well, you know how that goes. When my phone does ring, I rarely get to actually answer it because Lyra is usually crying. Lyra requires ALL of my attention. She's not one of those babies that can be put down and be content. We have a swing, a vibrating chair, and a play mat...none of which keeps her content for an extended amount of time. My cat, Lola, spends more time playing on each of those items than Lyra does. Ha. I'm sure she'll enjoy them more as she gets older, but for now she prefers to be held which kills my back muscles. She may be small, but she gets heavy after a while.
And all this is going on while I'm sleep deprived. At this point, no amount of sleep could make up for how much sleep I have lost in the last 10 weeks, which is why I no longer rely on a nap to help me feel refreshed. Lyra is sleeping a little bit longer at night, but it's still really choppy and inconsistent, and her day naps are becoming far and few in between.
I know all of this will soon become the past and there will be other challenges I will face, while wishing I was back at this stage again, right?!? lol. Alright, my venting is done...thank you for listening :)