Wednesday, February 29, 2012 far...

I waited 30 years to become a mother, making certain I was physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared for the journey that would forever change my life...I have decided that it doesn't matter how long I would have waited, it's still T.O.U.G.H!!!! I had absolutely no idea the amount of pain my mother went through until I discovered it for! Motherhood has definitely turned my life upside down. The smallest of task become a daily challenge now that the hours of the day revolve around feeding, pumping, and sleeping...and that's just for Lyra, that doesn't include remembering to feed myself, preparing meals for Aaron and I, trying to sleep when Lyra sleeps, and keeping up with a few house chores. The day seems to fly by much quicker with little time to get anything done while Lyra sleeps. She loves to be held of course, so when she lets me put her down on her boppy or swing, it's a race to get as much done or if I decide to nap, until she stirs. Sometimes she'll start crying within 5 minutes, but if I'm lucky, she'll give me a good hour or more. Everyone keeps saying "sleep when she sleeps"...ugh, that is just not always possible. During the night, of course, but throughout the day, I can't sleep every time she sleeps. I'm not the type to sit back and allow house chores to pile up...just leaves for me an inevitable larger mess to clean in the end, so I prefer to tidy up as I go, a little at a time.

I miss the days when I looked forward to the night time, laying in bed, watching tv, and relaxing before falling asleep...I'm not going to get those back anytime soon am I?!? Now I dread the nights because they are so unpredictable at this point. I know it will eventually get easier, but for now, it's the toughest part of the day. Some nights, Lyra will sleep great and only wake up every 3 hours for feeding/diaper change, but some nights she decides she wants to stay awake for longer periods in between feedings and then she gets cranky, fighting her sleep till she finally gives up and passes out. Aaron and I have a good routine for now - once he comes home from work, he takes over and I head to bed between 8 and 9pm and will sleep till he brings Lyra to me so that he can go to bed between 11 and 1am, then I have the night shift and day shift till the cycle begins again. It's nice to have Aaron home on the weekends to give me a little more of a break to get out of the house, if I even have the energy to do so. Family and friends have been very helpful...Aaron's mom stayed with us for almost two weeks, helping us adjust to our new life style and we have had friends that have come over to visit and help with meals at night, especially since Aaron has grad school on Monday and Tuesday nights...we are so grateful for everyone's help!!

Even with all the daily challenges, it has still been so rewarding to stay at home with my baby girl and not worry about getting back to work in just a short time. I am enjoying every minute with Lyra because I know these precious moments of her newborn days will fly by and before I know it, she'll be crawling! lol. Being a mother has been such a blessing. Every time I look at her...and I look at her A LOT...I think how lucky I am to have had a hand in creating this beautiful little girl. It's still hard to believe I carried her for nine months.

Here are a few pics we have captured so far...enjoy!

Ready to go home...

In her vibrating chair...thanks Aunt Suzanne!

Out for a stroll with Mommy and Nona!

So cute when she sleeps :)

Play Time...thank you, Tanya!

I love this thing...thank you, Lisa!

Again...sleepy girl

And one!

Daddy Time :)
Nap time in the pack n' play